Hills Above la Madelene, Provence

 oil on panel  6" x 10"  

"It is the nature of poetry (painting) to determine or affirm one's relation to the incomprehensible condition of existence".  Mary Ruefle

"Beauty is only the edge of a knowing we could not endure". R. M. Rilke

Pretty heavy quotes there but if one takes a moment to consider why it is we (or anyone) goes about making paintings, these sorts of things crop up. When a painter stands before an easel and begins to wrestle with capturing an image, the work being done is really just a struggle to come to grips with a small slice of reality. Reality in a visual sense can be a complicated beast. If that painter is giving full measure in the attempt, they will discover nuance and phenomena that were unexpected at the outset. Like juggling knives, each discovery and element will require attention while the memory of the initial visual trigger - the one thing that brought about the attempt - has to be nursed. After all this the result may be pleasing, even gratifying and well received. A best it is a small sliver of the beauty Rilke refers to, a kind of evidence of a pathway momentarily cleared into the incomprehensible whole. And that small victory can be addictive.

"I do not know if I work to make something of what I find, or in order to find what I cannot make".

Giacometti

The edge of knowing or ability,  which we try and push further out with each painting is really just the new discovery of what we cannot yet make - and the desire to push against that limitation is the addictive quality of painting. 

So take heart as you stand before your easel - you are boldly going where few venture, behind the lines of chaos to bring back evidence of form, of understanding. What a sweet addiction it is.